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Wow. This whole section in Katie’s book, I Need Your Love – Is That True?, is about how our lives are governed by our search for approval from almost everyone we know – and even the strangers we don’t know.

One by one, Katie asks us to question our own thoughts and find out what we really believe about these aspects of seeking approval:

  • Making an impression
  • Pretending to be interested
  • Making yourself more likeable
  • Minding your manners
  • Tact

I love this:

If you haven’t questioned the belief that it’s possible to win people over, and your manipulative charm doesn’t seem to be working, you’ll think there’s something wrong either with you or with your technique (or both). You may buy one of hundreds of self-help books that teach you how to market yourself – for instance, the multimillion-copy best-selling classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie. The author’s main suggestion is to make yourself interested in people because, he says, that’s guaranteed to win them over. If you find it difficult to do that, he has an alternative recommendation: Pretend to be interested. How is that done? Smile, remember the names of their children and dogs, write down their birthdays in your organizer so you can send everyone cards, and also pretned to agree with what they say. It’s all about impression management. Read the rest of this entry »


So the story of the past three days tells the roller coaster I ride when it comes to my work right now. I say “right now” because this is a snapshot, an observation of my current state, but one that I know is impermanent and also one that need not continue and is within my power to change. I know it’s time for some work because I am becoming a much better observer of myself and the effects that I feel in my body as a result of certain thinking in response to certain situations. This work right now is intended not to massage my painful story or to provide a “cure” for my highs and lows, but to face all of it with equal compassion, devotion, and kindness. Read the rest of this entry »

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Days I Reflected Here

August 2019
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