Mind games

Yesterday I sneaked a preview of one of the videos of a future class with Martha, where she talks about coaching clients through the Square One phase of the Change Cycle, the death of the ego constructs that precede any rebirth or transformation in life. One of the main approaches she uses during this phase is The Work by Byron Katie. I spent some time on YouTube watching The Work in action, and listening to Katie talk. Martha said during the video that this is a very powerful but also very sophisticated technique, and should be used “like a scalpel” – in other words, with care, expertise, and precise intention. On the surface, it is just a simple series of four questions asked to examine any thought that is causing suffering in your life:

• Is it true?
• Can you be absolutely certain that it’s true?
• How do you react, what do you feel, when you believe the thought?
• Who would you be without the thought?

The final step is to turn the thought around. Take the original thought (“Paul doesn’t listen to me”) and turn it to the other (“I don’t listen to Paul”), to the opposite (“Paul does listen to me”), or to the self (“I don’t listen to me”). Then find three genuine examples of how the turnaround statement is true in your life.

I tried “mentally” doing this exercise, and nodded with recognition when I first read this simple list of instructions. So I didn’t really think much of it. But now that I’ve encountered it multiple times and listened more deeply to it, I’m beginning to realize that it’s a form of “mental massage”. Martha describes it as a way of forcing the brain to form new synaptic connections and associations between thoughts and feelings. It’s a form of deliberate practice for the brain and emotions, in other words.

Which explains why my “silently” doing The Work “in my head” – without writing it down or saying it out loud – had no effect on me.