I let it wash through me tonight, but I felt it very clearly in my chest, my throat, even a tingling somewhere between my chin and my nose. I saw that two people changed their response from “Yes” to “No” for an upcoming event that I am hosting, and I instantly feared that those people had revised their opinions of me. I went through my mental catalog of possible explanations, and fired off an email to one of the organizers and a message to the community website, inviting feedback and reasserting that I am unattached to any particular agenda, including the one I proposed. “If you hate the idea of this agenda, we can scrap it and just go with whatever happens when the group shows up!” I wrote on my Comment Wall of the Ning site created for the group.

In my brain, I linked one action of mine, from a week ago, to two actions by other people, some time in the intervening days since then, and created a causal relationship. My brain did that instantaneously….that’s my WIRING! I could do nothing except observe it and feel it move through me. I could have taken one further step, which would have been NOT to act on it (in other words, not send the email or write the post). But the urge was so strong that I needed to DO something that I just did it, all the while experiencing and seeing what was going on.