I was inspired today by this post, entitled, “The Highly Underrated Art of Falling Apart”, by guest blogger, Emily Long, on Christine Kane’s blog.

The author is someone who is told by her friends that she seemed to always “have it together”, and to be very focused about what she’s doing. She talks about her own reaction to this, which is her feeling that she is constantly shifting directions, and has in fact spent the last several years of her life practicing and learning how to fall apart.

I stayed insanely busy to avoid thinking about how unhappy I was with much of my life. I stayed busy to avoid years of grief and tears that were buried inside waiting for me to fall apart and release them.

On the surface, I appeared successful and put together. I appeared productive and focused. I was. I was successful, put together, productive, and focused on a path that was not my soul path. Not allowing myself to fall apart was keeping me miserable.

It sounds familiar to me.

There is so much wisdom packed into this little post, like this:

Being β€œin control” makes me feel safe. That’s pretty much the only benefit.

and this:

Falling apart can create space for something new (and better.)

Let’s take the first one – feeling safe. So many people live their lives guided by this principle alone – arrange everything meticulously so that you feel safe and in control. This can work for many decades, until the moment when real life happens – something unplanned, unarranged, unexpected. And then what? You’re forced to deal with things that you’re simply out of practice doing. Like, spontaneity. Connection to the moment. Finding out your depth of courage. Experiencing your own resilience.

And then creating space. This is a hard one, since we can’t even begin to imagine the things that will begin to fill the space once we create it. We’re too busy wading through the clutter. Looking down at our feet. Trying to lift one and then the other.

If we could just allow ourselves to fall apart more often, we might find ourselves among the pieces.

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