OK, I just confronted a minor (OK, major) episode of “link fear”. I just created this blog a few days ago, to document my transformational learning journey just begun.

It just flowed. Took me minutes to set it up and write the About page. This after months and months of teeth-gnashing to try to redesign and come up with new content for my main website, The Music Within Us. Couldn’t figure it out. Well, now I’ve stopped trying to figure that out and I’m just working with what is working right now. From this process will emerge the real content that needs to go out there.

So I’ve been watching the blog stats. First day – zero. Second day – zero. Third day – 3. Today – 8. And I checked out the link love, noticing that the links I posted to the Twyla Tharp review were checked right after I posted them. In other words, pingbacks from the author of that post. I reread what I had written about the Lincoln Center director, calling him “a bore” and comparing his demeanor to a character in Silence of the Lambs. Whoops. I suddenly felt embarrassed to have my name associated with public writings of that nature. Not that it qualifies as libel or anything, but it is a little, shall we say, frank. I went back and edited out “bore” and changed it to “forgettable”. Yes, I chickened out. Or softened. Or whatever.

And then I took off the three other links I had originally put up – just a few minutes ago – along with my own site. I had links to Martha Beck, CIIS, and Real Speaking. But then I thought, “What if these sites also get pingbacks from this blog and start reading all of my ranting about their classes?” So what if? I just edited out my ability to find out the answer, since I removed the links. I just allowed my FEARS of what MIGHT happen censor myself into GUARANTEEING that I’ll NEVER KNOW the answer to that pregnant question, full of possibilities.

Well, that’s it for now. Those links might reappear down in the lower left hand corner someday. Just not right now.

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